Memories of the Heart
by bibi 13ca
Summary: One-shot poste season 6 episode 2. Alaric might have taken away Damon from her mind, but the heart plays by its own rules. One, by one, different memories of Damon come back to her, but what do they mean and which memories must she trust?


**N: Hey guys, missed me? So I finally caught up with TVD (what a ride!) and after watching the last episode (06ep02) this idea came to me, so I wrapped it up in this one-shot and delivered it to you. You can tip in reviews!**

**This story is set a few weeks after episode 2 from the sixth season. This took me hours to write. It took me hours just to select the "memories" I wanted to incorporate…you'll see what I am talking about. Well, go on then, read it!**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

><p><strong>Memories of the Heart<strong>

"_I know, I knew your old family," Damon took the knife from Elena. "They made sucky chilly," he said and looked at her. They bumped playfully into each other and Elena let out a soft laugh._

Elena dropped the half washed coffee mug in the sink and the loud nose brought her back from her little "memory." Except, it couldn't have been a memory, because she remembered that scene differently. She remembered she was in the kitchen, by herself, Damon showed up and Alaric threw him out. It wasn't the first time it happened either. Just a few days ago, Elena had another one of these "altered memories".

_She'd been waiting in the car for over thirty minutes when she finally saw him coming. She got out of the car as fast as she could, opening her black umbrella and made her way towards him. It was pouring and he was wet, yet still beautiful._

"_What happened, where is he?" she asked. The tomb vampires had kidnaped Stefan that much they knew. Damon's hand grabbed the umbrella, just a few inches above her hand._

"_They have him, I can't get it," he said sadly._

"_Why not?" Elena asked._

"_Because the woman who owns the house is compelled to not let me in," he explained._

"_I can get in," Elena said and bumped right into Damon in a failed attempt to make her way towards the house Stefan was held in. _

"_You're not going in there."_

"_Why not?" she attempt once more to walk away from him and into the forest. This time, he let go of the umbrella and grabbed her with both hands. _

"_You're not going in there!" he said again, this time his voice was unbreakable. His tone left no room for 'maybe' so she stopped._

"_Why are they doing this? What do they want with him?" Elena asked. _

"_Revenge," he offered. His voice was still calm and deep as usual, but his eyes betrayed the pain. "They want revenge." For a moment, she was not doing anything, for a short moment she didn't care about Stefan, she cared about him._

"_We gotta do something."_

"_I know."_

"_We can't let them hurt him, we gotta get him out of there," she said and this time, her voice is no longer steady. Her voice is urgent, scared and panicky._

"_I know," he said again. "Elena, I know," this time his hands don't grab her arms, they grabbed her face, making her even more painfully aware of the beautiful color of his eyes. Gray-blue, just like the sky on a stormy day. "But I don't know how to get him out," he finally said as he pulled away. _

It was as if, there were two sets of memories. In one set, she hated Damon, in the other one, she cared for him, loved even, if last night's memory was any indication. After taking a shower, she was putting on body lotion when another memory came to her.

"_Why don't you let me do that, I can reach the places you can't," Damon said coming out of the bathroom. Elena smiled and turned around to hand him the small bottle of vanilla favoured lotion._

Her bottle slipped from her hands and hit the floor. Elena gasped as she came back from another reverie. This time she had no other memory to compare it to. As far as she could remember, the scene had never happen. But then why would it feel so real? She stopped putting on lotion and got dressed, but as she put on her necklace, another memory came back to her.

_Damon was putting on his jacket as Elena walked in. He turned around. She took off her purple scarf as Damon grabbed a huge, dusty book from the table. "I'm gonna have to change the locks," he said. "Did you stage a jail break?"_

"_Stefan," she said simply._

"_Ah, brother," he placed his hand on the small table. "Ever the white knight."_

"_I convinced Bonnie to help you."_

"_I doubt that."_

_She finally decided to make her way towards Damon. "I am not going to say I am sorry we got the grimore without you last night, because," she paused for a split second. "I am not really," she finished. _

"_Well, at least you're honest."_

"_I was protecting the people I love, Damon, but so were you. In your own twisted way and as hard as it is to figure, we're all on the same side, after the same thing." They weren't just words, because as impossible as it was, she understood him._

"_Not interested," he said simply._

"_Yes you are, because you were willing to work with us yesterday," she said quickly. _

_He turned around. "Fool me once, shame on you," he doesn't finish, because the words were too obvious._

"_Ok, when we were in Atlanta, why didn't you use your compulsion on me?"_

_Damon took a few steps towards Elena and dropped the book back on the table. "Who's to say I didn't?" _

_She stayed quite for a moment. "You didn't," she finally said. "I know you didn't" she said again when she saw Damon look at her as if he was questioning her words. "But you could have." She took a few more steps towards Damon, who by now had his hands crossed in front of his chest, like he was listening her tell a random story. "You and I, we have something," she went on and Damon swallowed hard. "An understanding. And I know that my betrayal hurt you, different than how it is with you and Stefan, but I am promising you this now, I will help you get Katherine back."_

"_Uhh," it looked as if Damon was going through a mini existential crises. "I wish I could believe you."_

_Elena raised her hand to her neck, taking off her vervain necklace._

"_Ask me if I'm lying now!" she encouraged him. She placed the necklace on the table beside Damon's book and took a step back, waiting for him to make his move._

_He came closer. "You know I won't stop, by the way, no matter what I do."_

"_Then we'll deal with it," she said simply. Her breath picked up pace in anticipation. She felt vulnerable, yet somehow she knew that Damon will not hurt her. She watched him as he picked up her necklace from the table and put it back in its place. Around her neck. All she could do was watch him in disbelieve. "I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun," he said. "I wanted it to be real."_

She believed him. In that memory, she could feel that she believed him. After washing the mug, she grabbed her phone and looked for the only person she knew would be able to help her. He only answered the fourth time she called.

"I need your help, it's important, please," she said, her heart beating fast, scared that he might refuse her. If he did, she had no one else. Everyone around her was acting strange. Every time someone mentioned Damon's name, they were all acting as if they were expecting some sort of reaction from her. She had the feeling that they were all keeping something from her, something important, something related to Damon.

"So I take you turned your emotions back on?" he asked, more rhetorically than anything since it was clear that her emotions were on.

"Yes," she answered anyway.

"As it happens, I have something I need to take care of in Atlanta," he said and Elena's eye twitched at the mention of the familiar word. "I can spear a day in Mystic Falls."

"Where do you want to meet? I don't want anyone to know."

"Klaus's mansion. It would be abandoned, I don't think we will be running into anyone in there."

"Not possible, Mystic Falls is off limits," she explained the spell that the travelers managed to do.

"Interesting. Well, there is this other place, it's but a ruin now, but it will do." He gave Elena directions on how to get there and told her he will meet her in two days at noon there.

***DE***

"Are you still hangover?" Caroline asked and Elena finally took her hand from her eyes to look at her friend.

"My head hurts and your hair color is not helping," she said and Caroline raised one perfect eyebrow.

"Excuse me? Wait, how is it possible? Vampires don't get to be hangover," she pointed out grabbing the empty bottle Elena drank last night.

"It's the first time it happened since I turned. Not that I got drunk that much." Caroline wad too busy frowning at the bottle to pay attention to Elena's rant about her reaction to two bottles of Red Label. "I will clean the room, I promise."

"Now you just feel guilty," Caroline said and immediately Elena's eyes fixed on the bottle in Caroline's hands. Her head started hurting even more as another memory made its way back to her_._

_She was at the Salvatore Boarding House and Damon had just emptied the glass she had handed to him just a second before. _

"_You know I don't believe that," Elena said as Damon put the glass on the table. _

"_Go home, Elena," he pointed at the door, "get some rest. It's a whole new day tomorrow."_

"_Damon, I am your friend_"_

"_I'm well aware of that," he cut her. _

_She didn't give up, because she doesn't want to give up on him. "And a friend usually knows when their friend is hurting." Just like she pushed, he pushes right back. _

"_What do you want to hear, Elena? That I cared about Rose? That I'm upset? Well I didn't and I'm not." Of course she saw right through him. Didn't believe a word he said._

"_There you go, pretending to turn it off, pretending not to feel. Damon you're so close, don't give up!" she pushed, but it was a bit too much, because the next thing she knows, he snaps. _

"_I feel, Elena, ok? And it sucks. What sucks even more is that it was supposed to be me," the hurt became clear in his beautiful eyes and Elena's heart cringed in her chest. "Jules was coming after me."_

"_You feel guilty," Elena whispered. In a split second he turned around, making his way into her personal space. Not for the first time, she felt like she should put some distance between them, but all she wanted to do is wrap her arms around him and never let him go. _

"_That would be human of me, Elena. And I am not human. You're the one to talk about giving up, all you've done is give up." He pointed at the door once more. "Go home. There's been enough doom, gloom and personal growth for one night." She just nodded subtly. _

"_Ok, I will," but before making her way towards the big wooden door, she does what she's been wanting to since she handed him that glass. She hugs him tight, trying to express how much she cares in that hug. _

"Elena," Caroline passed her hand a few times in front of Elena's eyes before she actually paid attention to her bubbly friend. "Are you even listening to me? What's your deal, you've been spacing out on me lately." Elena looked at Caroline confused for a while, hear head pounding with pain.

"Nothing," Elena manages between her teeth. "It's nothing," I am going to take a shower," and with that she got out of the room, leaving a confused Caroline behind.

As it turned out Elena only got as far as the hallway before another memory attacked her brain. Pearl Jam- Last Kiss was playing somewhere in another door room and that was all it took.

_It was another decade dance and Damon and Elena were dancing surrounded by what seemed like everyone from Mystic Falls High. _

"_How are you doing?" He asked and Elena was confused for a moment. _

"_Uh, freaking out a bit, you?"_

"_Cool as a cucumber," she rolled her eyes. "Come one, remember the last decade dance?" He asked but didn't wait for her to answer. "The vampires were all arrr," he made a funny gesture with his hands. "And you were all aaaa," Elena started smiling, he smile turning into a laugh. _

"_You're right," she admitted. "And we won."_

"_Yesss, we did," he said grabbing both her hands, pressing them to his chest right before pushing her away and dragging her towards him in a smooth move. Elena giggled softly. "You're good at this," she commented._

"_I've got moves you've never seen," he whispered in her year before twirling her again._

Elena let her body rest against the cold wall in the hall way. She just stood there for a few minutes before she felt ready to go the rest of the way towards the bathroom. During the homecoming it was the water that triggered another memory. She was in the lake, wet, and that's when another memory of her and Damon in the same spot popped up. He was schooling her about being exposed and not safe from Klaus who thought she was dead. The next thing she remembered was her telling Damon that she cared about him. Than there she was with Damon in his car going to New York. After that she had one where she was lifting weights and Damon was calling her Buffy and showing her 'the key to a vampire's heart' and a split second later he was feeding Rebekah a marshmallow and Stefan was telling her she was jealous. After that she was opining the door to the Boarding House and Rebekah was there. There was no question about what she and Damon have been up to and Elena knew that in her memory, she was hurt because of it, which made no sense. Nothing made sense anymore. She even had a few memories where they were in bed together. The first one seemed as if they were in a hotel room. She was in bed, watching him making his way towards the bed. They next one was in her bed and she was telling him he saved her. He said that Stefan was keeping things from her because there was a cure and then there was hand holding and more confusion. Than he was in bed, naked, holding her hand, than they were kissing beside his car. That one came to her when she saw a blue Camaro. It wasn't even convertible, but apparently it had been enough to trigger another Damon memory. The fireplace from her friend's house last week made her remember Damon kissing her forehead after she told him to let her go, that if he went with her, she would never be able to stop and do what they both had to do.

***DE***

"You're here," She said surprised. They were in the forest near a few ruins that looked as if they used to be houses hundreds of years ago.

"Did you really think I wouldn't," Elijah said with a smile. Elena shook her head.

"I don't really know what to believe anymore, that's why I needed to see you."

"How can I help you, Elena?" he asked and after taking another look at the shapeless piles of bricks, he made his way towards her.

"I think I have been compelled, and the only vampires who can compel other vampires are_"

He didn't let her finish. "Originals. I didn't compel you."

"Not you…look, I don't have any other explanation. It started about two weeks ago. I keep remembering things," she took a deep breath. "But I remember them differently. It's like I have two sets of memories."

"Anything in particular?" he asked.

"Damon. They are all related to Damon, Stefan's brother."

"I have heard. I am sorry for your loss," once the last word came out of Elijah's mouth it became clear that he must've said something he shouldn't have, because Elena started screaming and walking around.

"See, that's the problem. People talk about Damon around me with care, it they talk about him at all. Everybody is sorry he is dead, yet all I remember is him being a monster. That's until a few weeks ago when I started having different memories, like in some alternate universe Damon was actually a person worth carrying for. There are two sets of the same memory. Like this one. In the first one, I was in the kitchen cooking, Damon came by and Alaric kicked him out. A few days ago, I remembered it differently. I was cooking with Damon. Ahh," she started massaging her temples slowly. The pain in her head was getting worse before a memory popped up. "Here it comes," she mumbled before drifting off into another scene.

_Caroline was standing right in front of her and she seemed pissed about something. "Gha, just admitted Elena, ok. You are attracted to him, in all of his bad brother glory," she said. Then again, Caroline was never the one to keep her thoughts to herself. Elena looked away before saying anything. _

"_No."_

"_Wait, no you're not attracted to him, or no, you just won't admit it?"_

"_I can't Caroline. If I admit it, if I even let the thought in just for a second, what does that say about me?" Elena asked softly. _

"_It says your human, Elena," her friend answered_.

When she came back from her little flashback, Elijah was supporting her. "Are you alright?" he had to ask a few times before the words reached Elena.

"Yeah, my head hurts before and after these," she paused because she didn't really know what they were and why they were appearing. "Flashbacks, or memories or whatever they are. At first they only happened about once a day or every other day, but lately I am having them a few times a day. I want them to stop! It's confusing."

Elijah let her go once he was sure she was able to stand on her own. "I have to make a few calls, meet me here at sundown," he said and started walking away.

"Elijah!" he turned. "Thank you," he just nodded.

***DE***

Alaric was about to leave the class room when all the windows closed all of a sudden. The mystery lasted a few seconds.

"Elijah? What brings you here?"

"I see you are back from the dead and enjoying the perks of being an original."

"Sorry?" Alaric asked confused.

"Elena. You compelled her to forget Damon?"

"She asked me to," when he saw Elijah's confused look, he went on. "Let's say she wasn't coping with his death all that well."

"So it's true what I have heard. She bonded to Damon?" Alaric just nodded. "I know you are knew at this, but it should be obvious, even for a newbie vampire. Compelling someone's feelings is not as easy as you think. You are trying to alter four years of someone's life, half of which she spent loving him. Sire bonds between vampires are very rare, as you might have heard."

"I did," Alaric answered simply.

"There needs to be powerful feelings in order for a vampire to bond to her sire. Human feelings, yet strong enough to create a forever lasting bond. You can't take that away with a compulsion. I imagine you don't know, because she doesn't seem to be trusting anyone in here, but she's been remembering the real way things happen and she'll keep remembering until she will remember that moment when she knew she loved him. From there everything will come back to her. You can either break the compulsion now, or let her break it on her own. I'd choose the lather. Maybe going through it once again would help her."

"She…she needs to move on, she deserves to move on."

"You don't understand, there is no moving on between twin flames."

"Between what?"

"Twin flames. That's what we call those who bond after they become vampire. It's rare and it's special and it's forever. No matter what you do, she will never move on. She might come to pace with it and live the rest of eternity loving someone half way, but she will never move on from him. She is confused now, her mind remembers something, yet her heart feels something else."

"After I compelled her, she said he was a monster and that she hated him!"

"See, that's the problem. Hate is a very strong emotion, it makes people think. In her head, she hates him so she thinks about him and when she does, her heart remembers something else."

"She called you?" Alaric asked in disbelieve. He gave up trying to make Elijah understand that Elena would be devastated if she got her memories back even more than before, because she will feel guilty for trying to get Damon out of her heart. Not that it worked.

"Yes. What do you want me to tell her?"

Alaric took a few minutes to think it over. "Tell her that she's been compelled. But it cannot be undone. Tell her Klaus doesn't want to."

"Why are we dragging my brother_"

"Please. If she knows it was me, she'll want me to undo it and I can't, I don't want to watch her go back. Maybe you are right and remembering in her own will help." Elijah nodded. After Alaric thanked him, he vanished.

***DE***

Elena had been waiting for over an hour when Elijah finally showed up. "So?" she asked as soon as she saw him.

"Elena, you have been compelled. But another vampire cannot undo what_"

"I know. Who?"

"Probably Klaus, I am sorry."

"Did you_"

"I asked. He wouldn't undo it. But I imagine it won't last long, you are already breaking through it."

"But…I can't keep doing this. I can't keep hating him and loving him at the same time. It's too much," she started crying about five minutes ago and tears are pouring from her eyes, too many to stop. "It's just too much!"

"When did it all start?" Elijah asked. His voice a bit higher to cover Elena's cries.

"What?" she asked confused.

"When was the first time you experienced this?"

She took a seconds before answering. "I was looking for something in the drawers. I found one of Damon's shirts. I thought…well, I don't really know what I thought, but I smelled it. The smell was…I can't explain it," she tucked her hear behind her ear. "Like comfort, like…everything that ever mattered to me and the next thing I remember is me hugging Damon and taking a deep breath of the same scent." She took another pause, but Elijah didn't say anything; he knew there was more to come. "I would've never associated Damon's scent with comfort, with feeling safe, at pace and protected, but that's how I felt."

"There you have it. Find things that belonged to Damon or meant something to him and it should bring your memories back sooner rather than later. I am sorry I can't be of more help to you."

"You've helped me plenty, thank you."

They hugged and after Elena wiped away her tears with the handkerchief Elijah gave her, he was gone.

She went home, took a long bath and slipped under the covered, her head pounding. She dreamed of Damon that night. He brought her back her necklace, the necklace that was a reminder of her love for Stefan. That was the moment she knew. The moment she knew she loved him. The next day Elena woke up knowing perfectly well who Damon Salvatore was. He was her boyfriend, she loved him and he died.


End file.
